2001-12-19 - 9:38 a.m.
I have never felt the urge to yell F'ck You and storm out so often in the past couple of days. I am absolutely buried in work. And Holiday stress. But I'll get over it. Because I always do. I sound like a put upon mother with a slew of failed home marketing ventures behind her, Tupperware, Mary Kay, Longaberger, all the broken promises of Cadillacs and Minivans littering my past along with the dream of quick riches in my Supercuts hairstyle and JC Penny wardrobe. Whoops, a little bit of a non-sequiter there. Last night however was one of the greatest moments of my life. One of those shining examples of I am Hip that you tell your grandchildren about ad nauseum. There I go digressing again. Last night was a holiday party for the Certification group, and it was held at a very cool pub in Danville called the Crown and Anchor. So I went out of politeness and the hope of free drinks and Costco appetizers. A very funny thing had happened at the holiday luncheon and someone asked me about it. So I told the story. We had gone to take our OF person to lunch as a gesture of good will. It being the week before christmas there were several holiday parties and we were seated in a booth directly across from one. They were doing one of those gift exchanges were you take a gift from someone, pick a new one etc. Gifts can only be exchanged a certain number of times and you can't take the gift back that was taken from you etc. The hot gift seemed to be a Kung Fu Hamster, a plush gerbil with a black belt that, when a button is pressed, whips a numchuck around and plays the song Kung Fu Fighting. It's one of those gifts of the moment that everyone wants but nobody really wants, but the table was carrying on like Richard Gere in a hotel room with the thing. So a large girl who probably hangs out with homosexuals on the weekend (not that there is anything wrong with that)manages to be the correct person to take the rodent and parades around the table to the cheers (from the tables lone 3 dollar bill) and jeers (from the woman who wanted it for her child and was quite pissy that a free christmas gift was snatched from her at the last moment)At this point I have abandoned the eating of chips and salsa, as well as any pretense of following the conversation at my own table and am focusing entirely on the mini drama going on across from me. Our squab friend plops down in her seat and proceeds to make the hamster do it's little thing. She bends down closer, in order to ascertain the lycics when the spinning numchuck becomes entangled in her hair. She shreiks and jerks her head up, bringing with it the hamster, which is gyrating grosly against her head. In fact it was a little bit frightening but they managed with expert timing. So the song starts and the extraction begins, with moral support (yep, 3Dollar Bill agian) and snideness (beware a woman scorned)going around people vainly did their best. The best was at intermittent times someone, in the midst of attempted removal would activate the hamster and it would start up again. Eventually, tired of it all they cut her hair. The party did it's best to resume, but the festivities were muted, and I would guarntee that there is on less Carl Douglas fan in the world, but it's made up for by the fact that I will never not smile when I hear that song again. So I tell this story and I gathered an audience. And the audience participated (which incidentaly is how I know the artist and lyrics to the song) and had a circle of people gathered around me hanging on my every word. I had to start over a couple of times, or summerize and bring people up to date. It was incredible. I had no idea that I had the making of a lyrical artist. It was actually the beer and the crowd that gave me the confidence, but it was amazing. I left soon after my tale was finshed, driving one of our sales people home. In helping him to the car we both stepped in dog crap, which wasn't noticed until the close confines of the Saab, so I have to get my car detailed today (thank god for frebreeze) but it didn't put a damper on the evening. I should probably get back to the work that I've been ignoring now.
Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29
Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19
- - 2007-07-11
Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20
Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18
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