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2002-01-22 - 7:17 a.m.

Oh boy. There was novelty on the free way this morning. I have been doing the same commute and pretty much the same time for several years. And I've never seen the Nuclear Banana before. The Nuclear Banana is a lifted, tricked out Toyota 4-Runner painted yellow. When I say tricked out, I mean ever damn aftermarket accesorie you can think of was on this truck. Including yellow gas gans strapped on in various places and also on the roof cage. No less than three sets of fog and driving lamps, and a large light rack on the roof means the man is commited to blinding his fellow travelers whenever possible. All that non factory wiring near all those gas cans didn't look safe. Plus it looked top heavy, being 4 feet off the ground, with the center of gravity shifting upwards. I imagined if he rolled then there would be sparks, then flames, then the nuclear promised by the name in stencils all over the truck. I kept cutting him off in traffic hoping for just such an incident but with all the gawkers at the display we weren't moving very fast. I feel bad for the guy really. The world at large pretty much assumes that people with such trucks have inadequacy issues. Didn't they get the memo? That's probably why lesbians gravitate to such trucks. It's a disease, and where a 5 ft mullet probably has something to piss in a pot with, she doesn't have anything down there at all. Oh boy, this is going to get me in trouble.

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