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2002-04-07 - 9:28 p.m.

I had a bad substance abuse weekend. It was like Trainspotting only without the attractive Scots and the dead baby. I became lost and confused, separated from my party and ended up wandering around San Francisco alone and bewildered. Too screwed up to figure out where I was and too paranoid to ask for help. Fortunately no harm came to me, and I managed to find a BART station. And I didnít even have to ask the Christian Scientists for help. I would have called someone for help, but I couldnít figure out how to use cell phone. At one point it may have been ringing, because the vibrating alert seemed an amazing thing to my addled brain. While this might be an amusing fraternity anecdote, itís really just pathetic coming from a 26 year old man. My face burns with shame. It seems that Iím a non-traditionalist at heart, student, drug user, etc. On the upside, there are now several people that I never have to see again. And I never woke up nude in an alleyway, wondering where my clothing was. Iíll chalk it all up to a learning experience. I also avoided the gym all weekend. Iíve been working out a lot more than normal, and while Iím seeing some tone, all the testosterone has also been making me very aggressive. Passively, but still aggressive. So I can officially call my weekend, ďLostĒ. Iíve had a lost weekend. Really, it leaves me empty inside, but whatever.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

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Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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