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2002-04-22 - 9:17 p.m.

I seem to have developed a squeak in my shoe. Which means come tomorrow itís in the bag for Big Brotherís/Big Sisterís. Itís just the way of my world.

So, Iím back. I feel obligated to explain my hiatus, rather than just breezing in like nothing has happened, that Iím here for good before running off again when it gets rough leaving you with commitment phobias and abandonment issues. Except I donít really have an excuse save that I was very lazy and did lotís of napping. Which is how I avoid things when I donít allow myself to shop. On Saturday actually I went to Angel Island which is a spot of my youth, and I expelled the demons of a horrendous camping trip ďplannedĒ by my father and his two business partners when I was young. One of them was childless, and was in charge of bait and beer. The other had three boys, close to our age. My mom had made us a large lunch and given us some snacks so we could go hiking on Saturday, which proved to be the only food that was brought, aside from the bait and beer. At least my sisters and I benefited from the planning of our responsible parent and also had tents, change of clothes, sleeping bags, etc. The other group of kids with us didnít have jack. I mean, who brings kids camping with a backpack that has a towel and a fishing pole? My siblings and I split up our lunch, and we made it through the cold night, sharing bags and war stories. This wasnít the first time these boys would camp with us without anything to brave the elements with. It was interesting, however usually my mom would pack extras. She was good that way. Occasionally someone would be forced to brave the spider-infested bathroom and hope that a drunken parent would not pound on the sides and laugh at the screams sure to come from within. To this day I have no idea how I managed to go that long without shitting and I still thank God daily that I can urinate standing. In the morning we breakfasted on the last of the can cheese, salami and Ritz crackers left over from our hiking supplies and awoke our hung over guardians so we could catch the first Ferry off the island. I think we got McDonalds out of the deal, which we always counted as a victory.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

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Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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