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2003-02-09 - 1:34 p.m.

I find myself becoming eccentric. It�s not a good thing. There are also tinges of compulsive behavior but I think that�s more normal among people that live alone. Or so I�m thinking, because I�m not fond of the alternatives.

I am missing passion in my life. I have no idea where to find it either. Not necessarily the woman of my dreams who completes me or anything. I�m missing something that I can believe in. That I can care about. This year has upended all my previously held judgments and amusements leaving me an empty shell with nothing to believe in. I can practically hear the Missionaries salivating about the emptiness. I�ve taken to avoiding them where possible, and they sense that, tuned instruments of whatever church they belong to. Perhaps that was the hunger that the Food not Bombs� volunteer was offering me last Sunday.

In other news, I was offered a new job at my current company. But I�m not sure that I�m going to take it. Partly because I no longer trust my current employer, and second because they couldn�t give me a concise job description. And I�m not signing up for something that�s yet to be defined. Even if it does come with a raise and 20% travel. It�s the travel that gets me. I think they know that. Whenever I�ve been unhappy or disgruntled in the past they threw the travel card at me. I�m powerless against it. Although a lot of the promised travel never surfaced. I can�t decide if I�m loyal or stupid.

I have a lot to think about. Or worry about. Depends on the time and location.

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

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Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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