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2003-03-19 - 10:10 a.m.

I spent a terrible night tossing and turning. My own thermostat, like the one in my car, was faulty and I was alternately too hot and then freezing. I hate it when my neck sweats. I ended up on the couch watching infomercials at 4:30 am wrapped in a blanket with the fan on. I tried turning on the computer but the screen hurt my eyes and so I just left it there, glaring at me reproachfully. I donít like being so tired that my brain doesnít function and yet remains awake. So, like yesterday, Iím a bit of a zombie. Iím going to blame it on my allergies, which have started up again. Being in my fugue state, I was terrified of blowing my nose, and breaking some sort of snot barrier, much similar to the pee barrier of bar fame. It would be all over then, I thought. So I sat there, breathing through my mouth and thinking how amazing it is that for only 19.95 I can get two EZ Sews, a 100 color thread kit, the carrying case, and the power charger.

I have a meeting with my boss today, and also with the General Manager. All of the stress is really getting to me. The 12 hour days and the bad attitudes of my coworkers have me near the breaking point. I think that in order to change, I would have to actually break. But that means I could escape to some mountain Sanitarium, wrapped in furs against the brisk clean air as Victorian nurses serve elvenses on the terrace and have spanking parties at night.

I started the morning by drinking chamomile tea, but am over that and am drinking machine mochaís, pounding the suckers and escaping to the break room for more. Eventually it will run out of Mocha or I will run out of quarters. Bets are being taken down in facilities. Ask for Angel. Odds are on the quarters running out, but they donít know about my coin purse. Booh Yah!

The Mitchell manual states that the time to R/R the thermostat on my Saab is .6 hours. This is assuming one has hands the size of a 7 year old Thai child, who is no doubt working in their plants assembling the damn things. Stupid GM. I ended up stripping all of the surrounding parts. But, in the end, I was successful. And dirty. And tired. But flushed with accomplishment. I might go have a manicure done though, because I could not, for the life of me, get all of the grease out of my cuticles. Plus, my hands are covered with scrapes and cuts from various engine components. Sometimes itís good to break with my traditional way of solving problems (throw money at it until it goes away). I might even change the oil myself. It all depends on how long this mood lasts.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

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Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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