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2003-04-11 - 3:22 p.m.

It seems that I am having stress blackouts. Not like, Oh No, I just came to covered in blood and an Officemate is now lying on the floor stapled to death. Just whole conversations are dropping out of my mind. Along with things I�m supposed to do and appointments to keep. I haven�t synchronized my Palm Pilot in weeks, and I think the batteries are also dead. I�m afraid to check. It will remind me of even more things that I need to do. Palm Pilots are like that. Smug little bastards. It�s not just work things either. I was chatting with a friend the other day, and it had been 6 weeks since I�d last hung out with him. I could have passed a lie detector test saying it was just a week or two ago. I have been bowled under by life and events it seems and am just being tossed around by things.

I�m considering getting a roommate. Or actually, checking the roommate wanted section of the paper, and of course, craigslist for places. I haven�t really finalized it as a plan, it�s more an option. I just feel like something needs to change.

I wrote the above about 2 hours ago. Since then I have been so frustrated I had to go outside and walk it off. And then I thought to myself, that�s messed up. So, I turned in my letter of resignation.

The panic has me unable to walk. I have no idea how I got back to my cube. And now, I don�t know.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

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