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2003-04-11 - 3:22 p.m.

It seems that I am having stress blackouts. Not like, Oh No, I just came to covered in blood and an Officemate is now lying on the floor stapled to death. Just whole conversations are dropping out of my mind. Along with things Iím supposed to do and appointments to keep. I havenít synchronized my Palm Pilot in weeks, and I think the batteries are also dead. Iím afraid to check. It will remind me of even more things that I need to do. Palm Pilots are like that. Smug little bastards. Itís not just work things either. I was chatting with a friend the other day, and it had been 6 weeks since Iíd last hung out with him. I could have passed a lie detector test saying it was just a week or two ago. I have been bowled under by life and events it seems and am just being tossed around by things.

Iím considering getting a roommate. Or actually, checking the roommate wanted section of the paper, and of course, craigslist for places. I havenít really finalized it as a plan, itís more an option. I just feel like something needs to change.

I wrote the above about 2 hours ago. Since then I have been so frustrated I had to go outside and walk it off. And then I thought to myself, thatís messed up. So, I turned in my letter of resignation.

The panic has me unable to walk. I have no idea how I got back to my cube. And now, I donít know.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

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Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

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