2003-10-27 - 6:01 p.m. I walked for the boob on Sunday. Raised a nice amount of cash. Yup. That's about it. I kept reminding myself today that I chose this life I lead. "Choose in" I kept whispering to myself. It didn't help much initially but towards the end of the day, I was better. That's about it twice. The phones were all screwed up, allegedly because of the time change. They kept cutting out, sometimes working, sometimes not. Everytime it stopped working, I breathed a sigh of relief. I hate the phone. But then it would ring again, or the voicemail light would come on and I'd be back to whispering, "Choose in". It's a throwback to when I was a child. I forget exactly how it came about, but basically whenever I wanted to do something and it didn't work out like I wanted to or planned all I had to do was "Choose In" and suddenly I was in control again. Magically, it was what I wanted and where I was to be. I think it used to work when I was younger and less cynical just by the sheer absurdity of the statement. But still, I find myself using it. Usually on Monday mornings after a relaxing or creative weekend, where the thought of my 9 - 5 (or more realistically 7 - 6) seems almost unbearable. Tomorrow will be better, and so on until Friday where I can relax for a brief 48 hours before repeating, until eventually, I'll have chosen in. Or checked out. Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29 Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19 - - 2007-07-11 Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20 Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18 Guestbook Notes |
Hosted byDiaryland