2003-12-19 - 5:17 p.m.
I keep expecting my family to swoop in with Epipens loaded with Prozac and re-enacting scenes from One Flew Over the Cuckoo�s Nest. Hopefully they will allow me to keep my boxers on under the hospital robe, although one could argue that with a thigh stuck full of Prozac it really wouldn�t matter.
I finished up my college term. I don�t feel flushed with success and accomplishment like I thought I would. Nothing is really like I thought it would be back in May when things where set and the future required a pair of polarized sun glasses or perhaps even Blue Blockers. Now of course I spend my days wearing those night vision goggles that the military uses. Or more likely, those available at the Discovery Store in the Spy Kids section. Not only can I change my voice, but also only I can open my diary! I think in the interim between then and now I lost focus. I have no clear vision anymore since the green LED�s in those stupid glasses are practically worthless. I react to everything rather than plan. I mope a lot. I was considering getting myself a vermin infested apartment in the Mission and spend my days smoking, scribbling into black leather journals with pencil stubs and chain smoking while being bitter, because I think that�s a career path. At least it is on the Sims. But most people don�t feel that such a lifestyle would suit me. Mostly for aesthetic reasons. My sister felt that my already fair complexion would pale to the point of insubstantiality and that I would spend my days resembling those strange bean sprout stuffed condoms that chain restaurants try to pawn off as spring rolls. Another good friend voiced the opinion that such a lifestyle has already been taken up by quite a few people in my generation and that they always envisioned me as a head of the crowd rather than smack in the middle of a movement. So, I find myself once again stuck. Which is more comfortable I�m sure than sitting around with vermin.
Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29
Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19
- - 2007-07-11
Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20
Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18
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