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2004-07-20 - 11:56 a.m.

Itís day two of the Angry with the World motif that Iíve had going. There are all kinds of rumors floating about concerning my mood and apparent mood swings. The crew is all anxious and unsure as to how Iíll react to each new thing. Itís really not working out, seeing that they are so preoccupied in not screwing up that they are screwing up. And continue to do so. Then they come in, hat in hand, wanting desperately to deliver good news but instead itís just another FUBAR. And I donít react, merely acknowledge and pick up the phone to the customer and inform them itís going to be another day, no outward appearance of the seething cauldron of bitterness inside my gut. I think that unnerves them more. That I donít explode with cursing and action. It would probably be healthier if I did so. As would changing the subject.

I know too many vegetarians. It makes meal planning a bit difficult. Unless I wanted to make Spaghetti. But I like to experiment with meals when I have guests. Select recipes from Martha Stewart or Cookís Illustrated. Make everything clean, shiny, and well lit. I also have few friends that I could invite over for cocktails. Mix up a pitcher of Martiniís and throw out some hors de oeuvres. . Which, I shouldnít use because I canít spell it. I can say it. But I canít spell it. Stupid French words. Why canít English have something for little snacks before the soup course? Why? I would bet that Americanís eat more mini quiche and phylo pastry than any other nation in the world. Regardless, I feel the need to entertain. I just canít figure out the details. Gone are the days when I threw Chili and Velveeta into a crock pot and threw a bag of Reeses out on the table. Because I like to think that Iíve become a little more sophisticated than that. I donít want easy. I actually donít know what I want.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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