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2004-08-28 - 9:23 a.m.

Iíve been very, very bitter for the past week. Itís fucking with my life. Youíll have to excuse the profanity because Iím not feeling particularly clever at the moment and therefore am going to be lazy with things like that. Itís really not to shock some elderly reader in Duluth (Hello Duluth! Shouts out to my homies there!) but instead me taking the road more traveled. I got stuck late at work last night, when all I wanted to do was leave early. But such is not my fate. Or anyoneís really. The universe certainly loves to throw wrenches in our plans. Or gears. Or whatever it is the universe likes to throw into whatever it is that makes us work. Or late for work. Or whatever. I couldnít reach any friends and I was way to keyed up with suppressed rage to do anything but drive. So I drove to Bountiful in order to maybe shop. But on the way I thought, no. Iím going to Salt Lake. Iím going to Nordstromís and Iím going to deal with this seething pit of emotion that Iím denying in the best way I know how. And so I ended up with some new Lucky Jeans, a couple Original Penguin shirts (that I almost didnít buy even though they were on sale because they had last months G.Q. article tacked to the board as if to say LOOK HERE! We have the same stuff on a menís fashion magazine! I mean, itís Nordstromís, I always though they were above that. Itís sad when the retail giants let one down. Sad indeed) and then I went over to Banana Republic but either Iíve bulged in new places or theyíve once again taken in their sizes, but I couldnít find anything that fit. Iím sorry, but I refuse to go back to an XXL and have it still be just a bit snug. Thatís just wrong. WRONG. DAMN YOU FISHER FAMILY! So I went over to J Crew where I bought some Cargo pants, then changed my mind and returned the. I sat and sipped some coffee at the Gateway Center fountains and bemoaned my lack of social life. I then changed out of my work clothes into the Nordstromís stuff in the Barnes and Noble bathroom and went to Area 51. It was almost too young and there were a lot of Emo Kids. But after too many Vodka and Redbulls I didnít care and danced away the aggression until I was spent and vomiting up the Vodka and Redbulls into a plugged up toilet. I then snoozed in my car until I was sober enough to drive home and did. I didnít achieve anything. I didnít accomplish anything. And Iíve still got the bitter anger inside me. I guess I just took a holiday from it for a while. Or more likely, just giving it the silent treatment because I take it with me everywhere I go.

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

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Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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