Your cocktail sir,

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2004-09-26 - 5:37 a.m.

I almost crashed a wedding just now. To see if I could. But there were a lot of people there that didnít seem the type that would find a wedding crasher amusing. I imagined bodily harm, and thatís usually what prevents me from doing things like, crash weddings.

The King of Prussia area is lush and green. Thereís the mall. A magical place called WaWa which means duck or something, but has the best sandwiches and is open 24 hours. There is every theme resturaunt with crap on the walls that you can imagine, and more hotels per capital than anywhere.

And itís boring as hell.

This afternoon I went into Philadelphia, which was nice. Saw the Liberty Bell. Went through repeated screenings like at the airport. Like in the take of your belt and shoes, empty out your pockets and put everything in a tub on the moving belt. Just ignore the National Guardsmen wandering around the park hassling picnickers. Very odd. But also historical and educational and what not. Toured a submarine and also the oldest warship still afloat. Which I enjoyed very much. I actually enjoyed the Liberty Bell. City Hall was beautiful. I ran up the steps from Rocky and barely prevented myself from shouting out ďAdrianĒ, being saved by a rotund tourist from Kansas City doing just that. I toured the Museum of Art, which was one of the nicest buildings Iíve seen house a museum, including Europe. I saw the rowing fraternities on the banks of the Delaware River and cursed that I wasnít WASP enough (Curse you Dad for not becoming an Episcopal sooner!) I had a cheese steak from the place voted best cheese steak in Philly, and came to the conclusion that really, I donít like cheese steak sandwiches. I rode in a Duck, which is a Amphi-Bus and really, thatís about as close to amusing as the experience was. My favorite tour of the day though was a self guided walking tour aboard the Olympia, the USí first steel battle ship. A high pressure sales girl yelled out to me that I was fired as I walked away from her attempts to attend an informative video about Trumpís latest Atlantic City resort. Oh, and I would have also received a free dinner worth over $150 and be entered to win some valuable prizes, including a penthouse apartment in said development. Iím amazed that she got all of that out as I walked by. She almost had me with the Youíre Fired.

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