2007-06-20 - 11:00 a.m.
I have been fasting since Sunday evening, which sounds all noble and the like, but really, it's not.
I don't handle the fast very well, I become irritable and cranky and snap at people and act all passive aggressive.
Last night, going on hour 48 of just iced tea, multivitamins, and water, I was ready to just beat the crap out of someone. I'd come from my personal training apointment and was just, angry. So I slept it off. And then cleaned the kitchen. Which I think was taken as a passive aggressive tact, but really was not. I had an outlet suddenly, something that I could tackle and make better in a short amount of time, a goal that I could finish with results that allowed me to feel like I've accomplished something.
And so this morning I had a yogurt. And then some coffee cake from Starbucks at break. I don't feel "clearer" or "more in touch" or even like I've fasted. I was proud of myself for breaking my emotional food cycle for a couple of days, even though it didn't really do much. I don't know. There was no meditation with this fasting, it was a little bit imposed by outside influences and my own stubborness.
I kind of want to climb up a mountain with some broth packets and just think for a while. Except I'd probably get bored. And then wander down to look for a mall.
Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29
Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19
- - 2007-07-11
Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20
Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18Guestbook Notes