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2001-09-16 - 9:23 p.m.

I had a sort of panic attack today. Not really a conventional attack, I just couldn't take people. It was my Uncle's birthday and I went over to thier house for barbeque and fun. As is usuall with such gatherings I end up entertaining the kids because of the whole generation thing. Although I went and hid in the guest room for a little while. By hid, I mean nap. It was nice, and there was an excellent food selection. I ate more than I wanted to. Damn worldwide troubles. I'm going to weigh 300 lbs by the end of all this. All I want to do lately is eat. For comfort, because I'm depressed, because I don't know what else to do, because if the world goes to hell in the next couple of months I need to be stocked up, I think there are many reasons. It's on my mind though because I really have been chowing down on the food. I need to make a better effort to attend the gym. Because I also can't afford to upsize my wardrobe, especially with christmas coming on. There was a chill in the air today so I brough down all my winter wear to air out for a couple weeks before I start wearing it. All those earth toned sweaters and such need to breathe. I like the colors of winter much better than summer, all that pastel and cheer grates on me after a week or two. I like the rich somber colors that go with the fall and winter season. Plus, all that layering gets me in the holiday spirit. Uhm, to watch sports yeah, and work on my car. And have beers down at the pool hall, and all those other manly things I'm into. I am so screwed.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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