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2001-10-09 - 8:38 p.m.

More bad corporate news. It seems that the space we will be occupying on a temporary basis will be the room where we have our company meetings. It's like one of those classrooms in college (and college movies) that is tiered and has a large whiteboard at the front. I always expect some beautiful yet quirky co-ed to come bubbling in late to our State of the Business address, struggling with her overloaded bag and juggling her purse and a blatantly placed Starbucks coffee, before clumsily sinking into the empty seat next to me whenever we have those mandatory "Company Chats". The CEO will make some snide remark that she ignores and the room will politly chuckle at until my wittier retort delivered under my breath causes her to laugh outloud, perhaps spraying the coffee on the evil stuck up bitch from Finance that resents her laid back views on corporate life and is commited to bringing her down, and also just happens to be sitting in front of her. The CEO will then eject her from the building, where after the meeting I will fortuitously save her from her bookie/pimp/loser boyfriend and setting in place the wacky yet romantic hijinks that ultimatly end with us driving my Saab into the sunset while some current bubblegum pop hit blasts the audience out of the theater. But I digress. How they are going to fit an entire sales office in a room with three network connections, one phone in the back, and precious little power outlets is beyond me. I'm thinking I'll be working from home a lot more often. I gave trainings in that room, but only a couple of times before they built the classroom in the building we currently reside in. However, in my continuing efforts to make lemonade out of lemons, all of the lights and equipment in the room can be operated by remote control. And I have this swanky Sony model with the touchpad screen that is so Star Trek and can be "taught" by pointing an existing controller at it and pressing a button. It's sweet. I sometimes pretend I'm Captain Picard and in a terrible accent demand it to change channels. And for Laundry when I spill on myself. So I'm thinking I can have fun with the audio and visual display system for laughs. I once used that room to screen Guy Ritchies BMW Film. And also to hide the sobbing, wailing, and teeth knashing I'm sure will be going on. I think it's punishment, throwing us into a room ill equiped to deal with normal office activity, because our sales have been very bad this past quarter. Of course it also doesn't bode well for the head count, especially company wide. There are about 30 of us (down from 45) that have to be found a permanent home or at least a space that they can plug our phones into.

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