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2002-05-13 - 7:38 a.m.

I figure that I should probably explain my absence. I�ve spent the last few days sequestered in my room, leaving only for unmentionable things involving evacuation. Of my digestive system, usually forcibly, and from both ends. Which is as detailed as I can get. Well, I could get more detailed; I just find it in poor taste.

Speaking of poor taste, I was asked to bring in puppy toys this morning as a contribution to a gift basket for my old boss. She had to put her dog down last week. It was a 17 year old Cocker Spaniel who was very cute, and loved like a child and it was naturally a traumatic experience. The reason for the puppy toys is that a few weeks ago she ordered a Jack Russel Terrier from a breeder in Arizona, so the co-workers have gone around and gathered up all these Jack Russel items to give to her today, as it�s the first day back. I brought the toys but have refused to sign the card. I don�t want to be a part of it. I think it�s tacky to bombard her with the �new� dog stuff when she�s just lost a dear friend. I don�t know, maybe I�m being stupid. It just seems to me to be a big mistake. Give her the new stuff when she flies down to Arizona to get the dog, throw a puppy shower or something. But for now, give her the usual chocolates, flowers, baked goods, and cards that you traditionally bestow upon the bereft. I�m a traditionalist however.

And despite advertising �A Card for Every Occasion� Hallmark is totally lacking in humorous sympathy cards. Not even Shoebox.

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