Your cocktail sir,





2002-11-14 - 9:15 p.m.

I was going to write one of those 101 things about me entries, because I didnít have anything else to write about, mainly because I lead the most fascinating life. But I have decided against it. Yes, they are popular and lots of people find them fascinating and amusing and all that. But Iím feeling a tad maudlin tonight and coming up with 101 facts about myself just wouldnít cut it at the moment, all right?

I feel like committing a heinous crime. And then confessing it to Barbara Walters, just so that she would listen compassionately, thinking about all the ratings and kudos Iím giving her, watching as she takes stock of her life, checking our interview in the positive side, no doubt erasing something horrid on the other side of the scale. She has done things sheís not proud of. No interview with me is going to erase the damage that Star Jones has inflicted on this nation, but still. I donít mind. Perhaps itís some latent desire to be heard, to have a message that can be broadcast to the nation. Iím feeling things lately, and I donít like that. My feelings and I, we donít get along well. Itís hard these days thinking up a crime to commit that wouldnít get me electrocuted under the terrorism laws. Sleeping with a public figure is so gauche these days. Scandals are everywhere. I donít think I have it in me to kill strangers. Or even non-strangers. Hostage situations rapidly spiral out of control. Arms smuggling is too risky. Itís tough. Iíll have to think about it some more. Barbara will wait. Iím sure of it.

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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