2003-04-16 - 12:29 p.m.
I am starting into the punishment phase of my resignation mile. Or so it seems. I was called a quitter this morning, only it didn�t sound like Quitter, but rather Queer which caused no small amount of heads to bob up out of the cubicles. It was clarified. Quit-Ter.
I almost had a lawsuit. Damn it.
I�m also getting all kinds of things about my laptop and how it has to be returned and the last date that I can submit an expense report. My expense account actually was taken away this morning. Anything dated after today will not be paid out on. I have to get a check request and blah blah blah. It just means that I won�t be taking my replacement person out to lunch. The laptop email was rather rude, suggesting that I would like nothing more than to abscond with this amazing technological toy they gave me. It�s nice, but hell, it�s not that nice. I�ll miss it, but only because it is more sophisticated than my home computer. It�s slim lines and modular components inside that silver exterior is nice to travel with, far better than the hunk of functionality that is my Dell.
I don�t mind that they are being punitive. I can deal with that. It only strengthens my resolve to be out of here. They are scared children scrambling for security in this crazy world, and I do have some compassion. Not enough to stay, but to understand that they don�t mean it personally. However, it is already getting tiring. I�m going to Utah this evening. For the first time, I don�t have anyone to delegate the essentials to. I�m like the gully in a Hockey game. Except it sometimes feels like I don�t have any padding on. I�ll just deal the best that I can. I�m hoping that while I won�t be able to totally let go, I�ll at least be able to relax. I have massage and chiropractic appointments waiting for me however, as well as meeting David Sedaris, so I�ll manage to get through it all.
I checked on studios and sublets in San Francisco last night. The city is drawing me to it. I was half-heartedly looking through the want ads. I need to come up with a plan. It�s important. I don�t need to necessarily follow it, I just need something there to reassure me. Some subtle crutch so I don�t feel so lost. And an alternative to quitter that doesn�t allow for small dogs, matching kimonos, and entry into orifices that should best be left alone.
Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29
Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19
- - 2007-07-11
Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20
Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18
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