2003-05-26 - 10:30 p.m.
So, I didn�t make the full call for a bailout. I made a tentative What if? type of foray. Also, my parents were very understanding and I have a good feeling about the future. Okay, not really a good feeling, my gut is complaining mightily. I�ll be avoiding sliding into third, if you know what I mean. And if you don�t, then I pity your upbringing. Anyway, things seemed better after I got some perspective and distance. Plus it was daytime. Things always seem better in the daytime. It�s at night, as I�m trying to sleep that the panic settles in and my brain won�t shut off.
My car goes in tomorrow for repairs. I am currently driving a lovely two tone gold and brown top of the line 1996 Ford Taurus that my sisters and I called the Narc Mobile when my Grandparents drove it. I intend to pay for the repairs using my �emergency� credit card. I took a couple of deep breaths and went with it. I have a plan. If things change, I can always make the call. I told 2003 I was raising the white flag, hopefully I�ve tricked it. It won a battle. But the war is still on. Viva la resistance!
Today was a holiday. Happy Memorial Day everyone. I worked. I had more problems with parents then I did with kids. People generally tried to test me out. I impressed everyone on the staff. Seriously though, it�s a cakewalk compared to my last job. I did better in the sun today as well. No burning. I applied sunscreen every hour though. It seemed to have helped. My face is very shiny though. I might need to use some astringent on it. I need to get some better sunglasses. The list of things is growing daily. It�s frustrating. Before, I would just deal with it. Now, it takes careful planning and coordinating. It takes consciousness. It takes effort. I hate that.
Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29
Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19
- - 2007-07-11
Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20
Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18
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