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2004-01-20 - 7:29 p.m.

There is still no word on the Book Club. I am thinking that perhaps it won't happen.

I came early to work today in order to work out but there was so much shit flying around that I got covered in it and am just this moment about dug out.

None of the shit was in any way related to me. I just had to deal with it. I hate when that happens.

I keep having vivid dreams where I am killed by Federal Express trucks. They are so real that I sometimes think in the moments before I have come fully awake in the morning, that they have really happened. This morning as I lay listenening to the news report on my clock radio I actually thought I was in the hospital, and was afraid to roll over in case I unhooked my I.V. and Oxygen tubes. (This particular nightmare involved the FedEx truck spilling over into my lane forcing myself and the truck into a freeway sign post where I was pinned in my seat as our fuel ignited) I have no idea what the dreams mean. All they do is make me panic around Fed Ex trucks. And leave me anxious and jittery in the morning. I've stopped drinking coffee. Well, not entirely stopped. I've just found that some soothing Lotus tea from Starbucks is more calming. And calm is usually what I need that early. I'm no doubt annoying my friends and family with the early morning calls. Dreams are silly things, and I don't believe that they have future telling powers, that these nightmares I'm having are portents of doom that mean I should ship everything DHL. But the feelings they produce are pretty hard to ignore. So, it's a strange thing. Quite the dichotomy. Both powerfull and powerless.

Well, seeing that I've now been here 13 hours and counting, I think I will brave the roads and go home.

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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