Your cocktail sir,





2005-04-18 - 6:15 p.m.

I should have had a better time this weekend. I was away from work, the weather was incredible, and the company was hilarious.

And yet, I would rather have spent the long weekend wandering around my old haunts in California. Instead I drank myself stupid, threw up, and drank myself stupid again. I lost some money playing poker. I drove a houseboat. I toasted the groom to be. I got eaten alive by mosquitoes. I cooked 4 pounds of bacon. I managed to not get sun burned. I got some color however, which puts me ahead of everyone in Utah at the moment. Except for the fake Ďní bakerís, but they cheat anyway so Iím not counting it.

Even though I had a good time, and was included, it still was not my crowd. My friends. And most of the time I felt lame for not sharing the history with these guys, with not sharing a joint with these guys, with just being around. Iím thinking that a good entrepreneurial idea would be to open up a resort that would allow people to safely get in touch with their inner assholes. Plus it would provide employment for those Frat Boys and bachelor uncles that refused to grow up. Iím sure that I could commission a study that would show how bottling up ones inner asshole is bad for ones health or something. I unleashed my inner asshole for 3 days and lost as many pounds! Or something like that. Photoís of mild mannered accountant types doing beer bongs would grace the cover of our brochure, and there would be strippers on hand to teach how to compartmentalize women or something.

I also think I made the choice to become a vegetarian this weekend. It was strange. I considered becoming vegan even. Weíll have to see how that turns out. Itís a moral issue, and it kind of came out of left field. I was cooking the aforementioned four pounds of bacon and couldnít help but think about what animals suffer so that I can enjoy the deliciousness of pork. And then I couldnít eat it. Bacon. Iím hoping that itís temporary. Or just me being hung over.

Your MFK, as I'm reviving the tradition is: Ford, GMC, and Chrysler

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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