Your cocktail sir,





2006-07-16 - 23:57

**Note** The following entry is old, like a week old. It was, aparantly, in my outbox. Normally I would have deleted it, but I have a gentlemen's agreement with a friend not to do so. Anway, I was really surprised to find out that I had updated. So, yesterday was the anniversary of a very good friends death. It was a pointless death, probably a preventable one, and certainly something that no one saw either coming or was prepared for. So, that has been weighing a little heavy on my soul these past couple of days.

As well as that, there have been deaths galore around me. Death marches along and it seems that for now we are commuters on the same train. Or something. There was a horrible collision in front of the shop, where a young mother of three died rather gruesomely. I have two employees out to attend a funeral for a family member. This morning I was stopped on the freeway for 45 minutes, just sitting there. And when I finally was able to progress I passed a motorcycle that was in a million pieces, as if some angry child had smashed it onto the pavement. That's the only vehicle that I saw, the cars involved (and there had to have been more than just a motorcycle involved because otherwise they would not have shut down three lanes of traffic and the shoulder, or would they have? Who is to say).

I think part of my problem is that I lack any sort of life affirming activities to sway me away from becoming maudlin. I don't do sex or drugs, I have no children, and while my dog needs me, he won't show it.

I'm also having problems with my family, internal strife that serves no real purpose other than to exhaust us all until we are too tired to fight anything anymore. Such petty behavior is really beneath all of us, but at the moment none of us care. Or maybe it's all just me and I'm projecting. Regardless, the annoyances with each other are all too real.

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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