2006-09-21 - 3:20 p.m.
It's been a slow day, news wise as well, I think.
I am blaming the rain. It's easy to blame the weather. It also never complains.
Autumn has arrived, a little bit early. I don't think summer is officially over until this Saturday. But the weather? She doesn't care. It will be what she wants it to be.
On the upside of things, I got to be in our Ogden location, even though it was just today, it's been nice. Not so hectic. Frustrating as hell because of all the lapses in process' but it's not my job and I can't do anything in a day to change it. I've reminded them, I've asked tough questions, and ultimitly nothing will change because there will be no oversight to ensure that the changes were kept up. It is this struggle that has given me the sleepless nights and the stress, and now I get to learn to let it go. And try not to be an ass about it as well. That's important. There is no joy in being right sometimes. Just as there is no joy hitting ones head against a wall repeatedley. And I realize that defeat and feelings of failure are really not all that "upside" but it's a lesson I needed to learn and personal growth really can't be all that bad. Last night I got shut out of a family function, and while a couple years ago I would have taken it as a slap in the face, I instead had dinner with a friend and enjoyed myself. It was a far more enjoyable evening, and it was my attitude that kept it so.
I have no agenda for this evening, and I kind of like it. I have a few hours of empty time ahead of me, and with the past couple weeks a blur of frenetic activity, it feels kind of nice. I keep fighting the Shoulds, like refinish my cabinet doors, refinish my dresser, throw stuff away, unpack some more boxes. It's an uphill battle, but really, if I spend the evening staring off into space until bedtime, I'm not going to complain. I think sometimes, I need that.
Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29
Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19
- - 2007-07-11
Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20
Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18Guestbook Notes