2007-04-30 - 9:18 a.m.
I find it distressing that technology has gotten to the point where I think that I could pretty much do whatever I wanted to, creativily.
Which is nice. The Alanis Irony I find myself in however is that my day to day life has me so whipped by the end of it that I don't want to do anything.
My mother thinks that it is a sign of depression, this ennui that consumes my non working hours. She could be right. I kind of think it's a bit of laziness. I want my life to be ordered and on track, but I want to just snap my fingers and have it made so. A crack team of elves or something that do my bidding and act out my whims seems preferable to hard work. My mother also feels that I should work this mental fugue out on my own time, while spending my weekends working on her yard. My oft repeated and earnestly meant offer to purchase the services of a day laborer outside the Home Depot are always meant with a scoff. I think it would be the embarrasment of having her liberal friends find out. They don't go direct, instead relying on Landscapers to do thier dirty work. $80 and lunch is NOT part of the problem. Unlike her friends, my mother enjoys working in the garden, building retaining walls, sculpting with ground covers and perennials. Why it has to be my father and I that do the heavy lifting is the question we all struggle with.
Maybe I should take my own advice and get some day laborer to come in and fix mine. To landscape my life into something that could be featured on the cover of Sunset magazine. It'd be nice.
Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29
Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19
- - 2007-07-11
Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20
Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18
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