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2002-03-26 - 10:04 a.m.

Oh my, I stayed up too late for the Post Weetabix Andy Party. Iím tired and cranky today because of it. Unlike the Oscars, you donít get a lovely gift basket for presenting but you do get to see a very drunk Tori Spelling betting people that her father can buy them. Good Times Tori, Iíll call you.

Yesterday I experienced the power of Argyle Socks. They happened to match a sweater that, due to my recent obsession with portions and fitness, Iím not uncomfortable wearing. Along with some baggy pants. It was a very Ď20s look. And everyone noticed. Including Steve in product marketing. Iím trying it out again today, wearing herringbone slacks with wingtips, argyles, and another tight sweater. There was a moment of doubt this morning because the socks Iím wearing are not the same color as the slacks, being black with a gray argyle patter, but it goes with the sweater so while Iím flying in the face of tradition itís unusual enough for them to be noticed. Actually, not that anyone at the gym probably noticed either. Only my haberdasher would probably take umbrage with it. Those silly haberdashers. I think Iíll turn up the charm, hone the wit and take some unsuspecting Betty to Mini Golf, wooing her with my urban sophistication, European car, and deep pockets. Mini Golf you say? Really. Iíll pass on my secrets to you. Iím sure Iíll take a few punches from the feminists but if I can help just one guy score then my work here will be complete. Mini Golf is like Spanish fly. Seriously. There are ample opportunities to laugh, joke, flirt and touch. All very important. Then there is the whole, Iím a man and this is a sport. But you involve the girl. You can be a gracious loser, showing her that while you are competitive and manly, you are also above the petty need to dominate. Unless your date wants to see that. Itís all very adaptable. Impress her with your prowess at guiding a something into a hole with some strokes. Plus you have the bonus of the phallic nature of the clubs, along with the balls going into holes, not to mention ample opportunities for fatuous remarks about the play, the course, and your fellow patrons. It works I tell you. I was a skeptic once myself. But now Iím a believer.

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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