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2002-09-26 - 10:23 p.m.

I just saw the movie Singles Ward. It made me homesick. Just a little bit. Iím not Mormon, and on the surface, itís a movie about, for, and by Mormons. But I also spent a good deal of my childhood in Utah. And from a cultural standpoint, this movie is spot on. All the strangeness and naivetť of Utah life was pictured on the big screen. Iím sure that to the rest of the world, the movie is one giant long WTF?

I guess the real question that I should be asking myself, is why is it playing here?

I think part of the nostalgia trip has also been finding a bunch of my old diaries and stories from High School. Things I donít necessarily need to relive. Or maybe I do, itís hard to say. I am glad that Iíve grown up. Itís amazing actually. The difference between what I thought was clever then to what I think is clever now. Iím such a different person. While I was watching the film tonight, I wanted the people I hang out with to be watching it as well. Because it reflected a culture that Iím comfortable with, and when I was growing up set a lot of my standards. Standards I tried to forget as soon as I left, but really, you canít change those kinds of things. I will never think it strange to mix mayonnaise and ketchup together for dipping your fries into. I will always view drinking and any other type of intoxicant as a choice, and respect peoples choices. Itís never appropriate to swear in public. Saying Fudge instead of Fuck is completely different. The little things.

So, I spent a short car ride home introspectively reviewing my life. And here I am. No real profound changes or anything A little bit of missing my old friends back home behind the Zion curtain. My parents are working out a plan to divest their interest in the family business. Itís a long ways away, but itís still being planned. And Iím not part of that plan, something they both hoped I would be. I always viewed it as my safety net, if everything else fell apart I could rebuild. But now, thatís going away. I have some mixed feelings about it all. Rather childish feelings I must admit. Itís interesting that such a something would come up today of all days. It was their anniversary and I called to wish them one via their answering machine, but they picked up, surprising me momentarily into forgetting. Iím good at that. Give me a pointer and a room full of people and I have spontaneity coming right out of my ass. Throw a kink in my planned answering machine message and Iím a babbling idiot. One of my weaknesses, along with the sauce. Soy, actually. Itís delicious but makes me bloat like the end of the month. So, they are meeting with someone theyíve known a long time, bringing him into the business with the intent of having him buy them out at some point in the future. All this as Iím reminding the powers that be at my current job of my ultimatum to quit should I (or is it my department) be transferred. I have impeccable timing.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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