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2003-05-06 - 9:30 a.m.

I have just had my very first bad review. It was punitive in nature. And not surprising, but it still smarts. Itís understandable, I report to a new director who is unfamiliar with a job that everyone sees as expensive and redundant. I was given objectives that I have no control over and didnít meet. I quit 4 months before my job was supposed to end because I couldnít take the bull shit anymore. All of these are no doubt the cause for the less than glowing report that is going into my permanent file. Did not meet expectations. Did not meet expectations.

Iím so depressed about it. I shouldnít care. Yesterday I was floating on a wave of contentment that I thought would carry me gently to the shores of unemployment. Instead I was blindsided by a tsunami that has left me spluttering and gasping. I should fight this. I should be standing up and shouting for everyone to hear rather than complaining about it on the Internet. I canít even say that Iím tired of fighting, as I never really did. I just rolled with the punches and let them dictate my terms. Did that meet the expectations?

Iím training the interim replacement for my job the rest of the week. Iím sure I wonít meet those expectations either.

Fucking expectations.

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Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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