Your cocktail sir,





2005-06-23 - 12:53 p.m.

The other night while installing a window fan that humidifies the air, I noticed a faint buzzing noise. Looking up there was a wasp nest. I'm sure the shriek was heard along the Wasatch Front. So, I suited up in the heat, putting on jeans and a thick winter sweatshirt, sunglasses and a winter beanie. I grabbed my ski gloves and the vacume cleaner and prepared to wage war on the winged warriors. Except the vacume just seemed to piss them off. And the three little buzzing guys were suddenly joined by a task force that again caused a shriek heard along the Wasatch Front. So, I ran out the door and slammed it shut. Stripped off the protective layers, and drove all over town looking for Wasp Killing spray at 11pm. Which I found at Wal*Mart. Pausing again at the door to my apartment I suited up, uncapped the spray, and jumped in, surround myself in a toxic fog. As if sensing my attack, the wasps were no where to be found, and upon drawing back the curtain, they were once again setting about increasing the size of their home. So, I unleased a toxic spray on the nest until it was a soggy mess and stood there panting in the fumes until I felt really, really sick. So, I opened up all the windows and lay down in the bathroom with the A/C cranked up until I felt better. The soggy mess was no match for the vacume at that point, and the dead bodies were dispatched just as easily. I changed the sheets and went to sleep, uneasily I might ad. I'm worried about the Wasp version of Enduring Freedom, where they will attack me en masse and I'll come home one evening to a scene out of Candyman III. We shall see.

previous - next

Zen and don't cry out loud - 2007-07-29

Zen and the stumbling rocks of fitness - 2007-07-19

- - 2007-07-11

Zen and fasting - 2007-06-20

Zen and hiccups - 2007-06-18

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